Friday, December 2, 2011

"The Adventures of Tintin" ~ 3/10

I was outrageously insulted tonight, by seeing how far from Hergé's masterpieces Spielberg has been bringing Tintin to the big screen...
The story has nothing to do with the books, but still that's not the problem, as one could argue that by messing with the whole plot of the comic books, this new story will also please those who know Tintin's albums by heart.
Almost all the characters look ugly, but still that's not the problem, as ugly Tintin live action movies, as well as ugly Tintin animated movies, had already been made in the 60's. Of course, we did not need another ugly Tintin, but still that's not the problem.

The problem is that Tintin's very essence was never truly grasped, neither by Spielberg, nor by those who wrote the screenplay for this film.

The original character of Tintin is the very symbol of purity, at least according to Hergé's western and/or christian standards. Tintin actually is a christic character, not some funny superhero giving justice as a pretext to not abide by the law and fly by night above the city...
Never would Tintin have glowing eyes by the sight of a treasure of gold and jewels. By being purer than a human, Tintin is human in a more than humanist way. And Tintin's not enjoying his adventure just for the fun of it. He's always moving towards justice and humanism, because he knows about the bigger picture. Tintin has to make things right, for "the people". Tintin was, according to De Gaulle himself, De Gaulle's only international rival. One might say, in the same way that Jesus Christ had been to Rome and its emperor.

As for Haddock, well, here again, the very essence of the character is absent from the movie. Of course, Haddock is a drunkard. But the purpose of this character is not at all to express morality. Tintin is already there for that purpose.
Thus, Haddock would never become a real sober man, and Tintin would very soon give up trying to cure this indispensable alcoholism. Never would Haddock become a role model for young people reading their adventures. Because he is there to even the balance, vis-à-vis Tintin's lack of warm-bloodedness ; he is there to express rage, excitation, agitation, hunger, thirst, and the whole range of feelings which one real and true animal (as all humans are) has to be. Haddock is there to express quite the opposite side of Hergé, all that is not Tintin, all that Tintin cannot be.
The original comic book Haddock's way of swearing and cursing, is never ever gross. Here, the english translation of the comic books themselves might have misleaded a little bit the filmmakers, but in this movie Haddock is not saying enough of those beautifully chosen scientific or cultured words that made him so uniquely human, charming, funny, and inspiring.

I won't even try to explain the way other characters are disappointing to a tintinophile like me.
I won't even try to explain that the way actors pronounce "Karaboudjan", while trying to make it sound "more french", is completely ridiculous. If Hergé had been so bad at thoroughness when making his work, Tintin's books would be as (little) valuable as stupid old pulps, and Spielberg would instead have made whatever superfluous superhero movie that Hollywood has left for him.
I won't elaborate about John Williams' surprisingly tasteless music. Usually that's what I prefer in Spielberg's movies.

Some people would use religious, legendary, political, or philosophical characters as role models ; others would take characters from poetry, literature, arts, as role models... My role model is a bit of everything, among all that : Tintin. I have been growing with Hergé's search for purity through Tintin, since I can read. But one might argue that a role model is exactly what Spielberg is looking for through his cinema, and therefore, lacks, and doesn't know how to transcribe.

In conclusion, let's say this movie is about an adventure moving in all directions with some stupid battles as american kids might like to watch (then they become adults and want to watch Indianapolis or Monster Trucks car crushing fun, if not buy a gun and shoot at things...), one or to gross belches, and a bit too much of that useless drama Americans have been inputting in everything they touch.
But it is not Tintin, it is not the international, political, christic, pure, character of Tintin. It's only another Actor's Studio english speaking character we see everyday in every TV series, sitcom, movie... The characters faces never move as Belgian nor French people would do, but just as Anglo-American actors (and maybe humans...). But James Bond and Indiana Jones might suffice, for that purpose.
Breathing life into Tintin using 3D mocap might exactly be the big problem when dealing with a completely pure and blank character such as Tintin (Tintin's original drawn face has only a small curve for a nose, two small points for the eyes, a small mouth, and very rarely, some eyebrows, the latter being the most expressive marks one could see under Tintin's tuft).
Spielberg would never have had the balls to use someone acting as a real Belgian does. Too bad.

PS : I would add that the best adaptation of Tintin so far, is the animated series dating from 1991-1992, by Stéphane Bernasconi. Not absolutely true to the comic books, but never treacherous.